Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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