I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
