me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
