So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
