if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
