i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
