this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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