so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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