He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
