i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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