Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
