I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
