i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
