his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
