She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
tell me about the eggs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
