if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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