Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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