My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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