plz talk dirty to me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
