I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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