in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
