Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
