No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
