i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
