don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize