A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
