six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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