Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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