Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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