I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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