He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
