I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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