when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
