Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
