i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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