Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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