from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
