i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
