belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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