youre lurking in front of me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
