My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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