mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
