I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
