I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
this just has baby written all over it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
