Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
