in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
