I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
