Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
