So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
