i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
